Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
