I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
