from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
