and you said cock pushups were impossible
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
