He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
