Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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