The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
