how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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