I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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