Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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