I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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