I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Randomize
