I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
