I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
