You're my little dorito
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
