Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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