Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
