I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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