Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
