Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
