Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
