That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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