Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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