Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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