I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
