this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
