your parents love me but you hate me
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
