We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
