If i come over, it means nothing
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
soo... how was my night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
