And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize