I don't think brook has ever known best
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
