Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
