So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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