im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
