p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
