none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i believe in u and ur pee
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