I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
