So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
