So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize