You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
