I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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