so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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