I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My feet surprised me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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