I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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