Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
