He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I am naked and annoyed.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
