OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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