Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
