I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
