i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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