is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
