he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
