I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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