The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
