they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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