Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
