last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
