White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
