Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
