i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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