I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
