So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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