google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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