I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
