grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
