So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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