There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
