lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
