I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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