I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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